#ALSO WOW TUMBLR DESTROYED THE QUALITY

[mofsblog]

I just think they're friends

[nuka-rockit]

MEA TRINITA PROFANA

[batz]

waking up w ur cats after having a snooze (ideal)

[mikewheelerfan2022]

I drew the Afton kids right before Elizabeth’s death! Ngl pretty proud of this one (click for better quality)

[apollorobin]

DESTROY HIM!!! KICK HIS SILLY LIL ASS!!!!!!

based on a stock image lol😭 (under the cut) also please click the photo for better quality!! tumblr always makes my art blurry these days unless you tap on it idk why, sorry

here's the stock photo! it made me giggle so i had to post it too lol, when i saw it i just thought WOW that is definitely the survivors and kaz is definitely the one on the floor

r.i.p kaz😞 got bullied too hard

[space-bopp-creations]

Yakuza cats!

WOW!! What silly cats!! I sure hope nothing incredibly traumatizing happens to them!! /lh

I'm so glad I got into the yakuza games they are so goofy and I love them alot so of course I had to draw two of the silliest characters as cats! :] [also i hope tumblr didnt destroy the image quality again sorry if it did]

[hanzajesthanza]

omg 👀👀 i was looking thru ang content on tumblr and i saw an old post of yours about the dandelion+countess stael=ang theory and !!! I actually had wondered earlier if you were at all interested/supported this theory bc I read about it awhile back and actually love it so much? :,) It's a favorite hc of mine and I may have tried to subtly incorporate it into my ang design...i just think its too Incheresting an idea not to explore tbhhhh

oh wow! i remember this theory :)...!

post explaining the theory in case anyone is confused

or tl;dr of the theory: essentially, it's that dandelion is 38 years old, dandelion knew countess de stael 19 years ago, dandelion has a penchant for lovin' and leavin' 'em, angouleme is 19 years old and is the daughter of an unknown noblewoman and some scoundrel that seduced her. and they're both blonde.

this is from june of 2019, which should provide some context.

(okay, so... sorry for long and kind of serious response to a lighthearted ask <3 i do not want to spare the details!)

firstly, i was never too fond of it as a serious headcanon in the first place, i proposed it as more of a crack theory. i wanted more reason for dandelion and angouleme to get more attention, and i thought, no harm done in a silly "what if", right? well...

secondly, only a few months after i came up with this theory... netflix's witcher premiered, and... it immediately became insufferable to have headcanons and theories about dandelion because of the shift in fan culture. i did not want to associate with the fans who were making farfetched theories about jaskier-dandelion.

due to the behavior of the netflix community, which in my experience completely disregarded canon facts and characterization, AUs and "what if"s overall stopped being fun to engage with. in reaction to the netflix fandom culture, i felt a need to stop making "weird-fun-silly" headcanons, theories, etc. that would contradict or cut against the grain of canon, and instead focus on headcanons, theories, etc. that would either support or be supported by canon. it's somewhat regretful, but i think it taught me an important lesson about why i'm here, and it deepened my appreciation of the storytelling and literary qualities of the witcher.

thirdly, since more time has passed since then, i've also engaged with new headcanons... @toussaintred and i came up with a lot of headcanons about the countess de stael and dandelion's interactions with her in august 2021. instead of being a romantic peer-to-peer relationship, she was a mature woman who he developed a crush on and was inspired to change his life and identity because of her.

i ended up writing a post about those headcanons re: dandelion and the countess de stael as they exist now, if you are interested :')

but most importantly the reason i didn't go through with this headcanon is because i want dandelion and angouleme to exist in the same space without their relationship being fraught with tragedy and disdain; i think, were he her father, she wouldn't be able to even look at him. and the guilt may destroy him, too.

it's also, for me... i have this interpretation of the hanza in that they have all made such mistakes or been the victims of mistreatment in their lives, but despite these strong emotions, they cannot go back into the past and confront the people who hurt them, or apologize to the people they hurt. all they can do now is live in the present and try to do better in the future. for each member of the hanza, there is no closure.

i see this with cahir, who harmed ciri and cannot undo that, but has now joined the company and denounced nilfgaard. i see it with regis, who destroyed his own life and pushed everyone away, but is now seeking humanity. i see it with milva, who has spilt and lost blood of her own, and learning vulnerability. and angouleme... angouleme cannot know her parents, they abandoned her and will always have abandoned her. they receive no second chances, she'll never know them, and has to deal with that emptiness which persists with her. even when in the company, which comforts her... despite her beginning to heal and try to take care of herself, she'll never find closure about her mother or father, because they're irrevocably gone.

i also think dandelion and angouleme can have a really positive relationship without a biological connection between them. i mean, i think the thought could occur to dandelion: "she is younger than, i suppose, however old little eye is now. plague, she could even be the daughter i never had- ptu, will never have..." but i don't see dandelion ever having a father-daughter relationship with her. it's more like his relationship with ciri, where it takes a village to raise a child, and he's a close friend of the family...

but i do think dandelion would impart some knowledge onto her, especially that around politics and how to navigate the social interactions of a court, which she wants to do but is unfamiliar with. it's somewhat ironic, because he himself completely disregards these kinds of manners and formalities. but he does know them, so he can tell her... dandelion and angouleme have opposite relationships with nobility and i think the most interesting thing about them in beauclair would be that dandelion is using his noble identity to secure a life he wants, but a life that contradicts his broader identity and desires in life, because his vision is clouded by the dreams of toussaint...

[borathae]

I binged and I'm destroyed bcz of chapter 4 gimme a day or two to recover and you'll get my thoughts. I feel ruined. YOU HAVE RUINED ME SIBI WITH THE QUALITY OF YOUR SMUT IT'S SO RAW SO REAL NONE OF THAT FLOWERY NONSENSE THIS IS THE REAL DEAL OH MY GOD??

*Wipes her face*

Chapter 4: oh my god okay apart from rocking my world can I just tell you how utterly glorious the taekook angle is???? My god?? The sexual tension is one thing but that chemistry??? That earnestness? That desire to be close and just come together to try and know each other on another level? That attempt at emotional intimacy??? BLOWN AWAY 11/10 I love feelings.. You have me feeling a lot.

Jungkook's clipped behaviour and ignoring tae in both chapter 3 and 4 and then 💥 happens. I found that really amusing btw chapter 3,during breakfast tae trying to flirt, jungkook pointedly ignoring him but turning his sunshine good babie mode when OC or jin hyung talk 🤣😂

Wow I will not recover from the explosion YOU HAVE CAUSED WITH TAEKOOK SIBI. One of my favourite parts is (not the pee part I'm sorry I just don't enjoy the pee kink anywhere except this blog everything is safe and tasteful here akauha) but the fact that tae wanting to take jungkook out so they could watch the rain together after cleaning up it was such an intimate vibe. AGAIN I FELT LIKE LEAVING THE ROOM IFDK WHAT YOU TOOK WHILE WRITING MV. I FEEL LIKE I'M A PEEPING TOM TO THESE CHARACTERS.

Jungkook's awkwardness is so 😭 babie

That kiss was so 😭💕💥💞💥😩

Chapter 2 and 3: I'm so sorry about Jin and Emma. I could actually feel Jin's nerves and the whole tulip memory. Is Emma a key character in finding namjoon? Not that you'll tell me 🥲👀

Hobi and his sex jokes🤣😂 I had a lot to say about a lot more things bcz as I was reading I wanted to point out everything but what if tumblr eats my ask 😭

hahahha that breathing gif ahahahhah 💀

LISTEN I'M SO HAPPY YOU THINK THAT WAY ABOUT THEM those are my thoughts exactly. I think they both needed to find each other at this time of their life and I just FAJDJFA THE SEXUAL TENSION FAJDFDA I WANNA FUCKING LIVE INSIDE THEM

I found that really amusing btw chapter 3,during breakfast tae trying to flirt, jungkook pointedly ignoring him but turning his sunshine good babie mode when OC or jin hyung talk 🤣😂

Kookie trying to act uninterested was so funny fajdjf he is so bad at acting like he doesn't care afjdjsf we love his awkward butt 😔

Also oamfmfga I honestly love that reaction to the smut ahhahah I was all like "is this too much? nah it's not is it?" so to hear that you went all "omgf damn" about it makes me happy ahHHAHA

Is Emma a key character in finding namjoon? Not that you'll tell me 🥲👀

taht is very correct :-) I can not tell you :-)

Hobi and his sex jokes🤣😂

listen. he is such a fucking idiot (affectionately) in some parts of this story fadjf like we stan his energy 😩😂

I had a lot to say about a lot more things bcz as I was reading I wanted to point out everything but what if tumblr eats my ask 😭

I think it didn't eat your asks? I have one more from you in my inbox so if you sent more, they are now gone in the Tumblr oblivion🥴🥴

[macgyvertape]

D2 season of the Plunder Thoughts

gameplay stuff above cut story stuff below in a liveblog format (what a mess this post is when tumblr ate my bullet points)

DIM has been painfully slow and it’s a problem with the Bungie API system, DiM is so integral to quality of life in the game, the app can’t compare. Tower has been unusably slow like the last few season but even worse

 I appreciate the UI buff changes, color coding it via class and with different shapes.

 Story progression requiring 50 champ kills and giving bonus for master ketchcrash is so bullshit since master ketchcrash isn’t matchmade and requires a high powerlevel grind. Glad they made it autocomplete after a day

The ketchcrash activity is fun, it's great that it's randomized to reduce the monotony of the grind. I think it’s neat the level of companion AI there is.

 However expeditions are frustrating with the ruffian mechanic which only progresses when you sit around and throw the treasure away. So they basically never show up with blueberries.

 Destroy shield generators is also a pain. Fighting other guardians for the scorch cannon then some asshole steals it right from your kill. Same thing with deposit treasure for scallywag, where you fight other guardians for it. A lot of people complained about this with scythe kills last season

Nice to see old areas repurposed for pirate hideouts

.Anti-barrier sniper is really bad this season, between the flinch changes and snipers being outclassed by other weapons the damage power isn’t there like lastime

The real flaw this season is the reward structure. So few red border drops, limits on the ability to buy focused weapons when you have challenges that require leveling them.

The challenge of “level 3 seasonal shaped weapons to lvl 10” exemplifies this when I had 0 seasonal weapons crafted by then

 Even worse that challenge gives repute when I need more repute to buy something that increased the drop rate.

I wish bungie wouldn’t lock GMs behind the power grind. They’re the content I want to do but irl keeps me busy so I never get to power level until after GMs start

Glad I don’t care about event title because I don’t have the time to grind for it. I made an attempt at getting challenges done but the weapon kills and 35 haunted sectors were too much of a time sink. So no point paying for the event pass even if I was interested. 

50 super kills in Mayhem was a lot easier this season with no classy restoration in PVP. Despite only using Thundercrash titan, I got that challenge done before “defeat guardians with arc damage”

Really enjoying whatever this Telesto thing is. Favorite fusion rifle and in top 3 favorite exotic guns. Edit: hmm it actually ended up being disappointing that they reverted all the changes

Very glad Devil Lair is the double loot GM. That way I can masterwork all my high stat exotics on hunter and titan

Masterworked Hunter Trip Grenade Gauntlets: wow those are a lot of fun with the new solar rework.

I played my Hunter and Titan characters a lot more this season, and I’m finally as comfortable doing endgame PVE with them as I am with my Warlock. Warlock is still my favorite class just how healing rift and grenade focus compliment my playstyle but learning to like all classes and be good is something I worked on since WQ launch and I think its paid off

Arc super on Warlock feels weak in that Chaos Reach can’t kill a champ in master content without Geomags, and ticklefingers is only really good for add control of which the rest of Arc Warlock kit provides a lot of other options.

Gathering Storm arc super for Hunter is great, finally makes Arc Hunter good in higher difficulty and its really good against both a crowd of adds and bosses. I think I used arc staff like once but it wasn’t as fun.

I didn’t think much changed for arc titan but I finally got the hang of the movement charged melees.

I love Brigand’s Law what a great sidearm. No Reprieve (stasis shotty) was the weapon I crafted first and lvled to 20. I don’t really like it as a precision shotgun but it will be great for Shank-Taniks boss fight next season.

Finally got my 3rd pattern for Seasonal weapons with 3 weeks left. Yeah the red border system this season was awfulI

 wound up not playing any iron banner this season. No seasonal challenges required it and if I’m not super interested in the game mode this season and skulking wolf trait isn’t good in PvE

.Just like seasonal event titles, the new IB structure incentives grinding a lot in 2 weeks. Its a fast track to burnout for me so I don’t go for it, but I dislike the shift towards short time to earn FOMO titles

 Did the raid almost every week on all 3 characters and no Touch of Malice, raid exotics being random RNG with no bad luck protection system is just such a waste of players time

This season I finally did a reset with Banshee, I’m glad they adjusted it.

Without even trying for it I got Thrillmonger medal, and thereby completed Dredgen. No FUCK no to ever trying to Gild it though

Glad there’s skill based matchmaking but crucible still sucks ass when I play with my friends in other timezones. Damage glitching with cheats or bad connections, gives me 0 reason to do pvp except for seasonal challenges and its so prevalent in Trials and Glory Playlist

The challenges I skipped were 100 Guardian stasis kills, and 2nd reset for Crucible and Gambit. If I’m not having fun then I won’t force myself to play

Did Master Rhulk through the streamer’s checkpoint system, it wasn’t that bad. Glad to get the sparrow.

Gameplay wise the community event was great to have during the last week, bonus rewards for doing a lot of playlist activities to finish seasonal challenges. I turned in most of my planetary materials to Rahool to buy golfballs, and I have most good stat exotics masterworked.

I’m SO GLAD they changed Scallywag to 8/9 triumphs, I’m tired of doing expeditions and I don't want to have to sit in the activity growing to hate Destiny to get it

I tried to do Master Caiatl with some clanmates on the last day and holy shit I think its the most difficult PvE in the game. Between survivability from lots of adds, match game with lots of shields, deaths from architects and being thrown off the map, and that you have so little time to kill bell keepers before Caiatl gets there. Its a lot to deal with and after close to an hour with no progress we gave up.Master WQ campaign mission was a cakewalk comparatively

First week:

I hope someone got a gif of the ketch flying overhead, that was my favorite part of Beyond Light, how present Eramis Shipstealer’s ketch is. Shame it wouldn’t let me replay the mission on other characters b/c of a bug. 

The following cutscene: cries in how bad my guardian looks on my graphics card. 

This pirate theme is a lot of fun, a lighter in tone breather from the horror of last season. If the music wasn’t a clue the fact that basically every NPC has a punny pirate name would do it 

Also the music that played during the cutscene sounded like the start of “the families” but different. Interesting because “the families” was from black armory soundtrack

Other weeks:

This is really peak Eliksni fucker season

While I’m enjoying Drifter’s antics I wish we got him being a bit more morally gray and sketchy like he was in Season of Outlaw/Joker’s Wild

Pirate Hideouts: The Blademasters - i do appreciate some immune Cabal chasing me with swords

In universe they keep calling what we’re doing “unsavory business” but aside from like working with Spider (leader of an organized crime ring) what morally dubious actions are we committing than our normal “privateering actions” where we basically have a comission of war from the Last City. Worst thing I guess we're doing is blowing up the ether and thereby starving others but that isn't like brought up as a plot point.

Spider and Misraaks have BIG ex energy. Feels like classic ex-significant other back in the life of the single dad causing drama with his child because the dad has a past he REGRETS

Misraaks threatening Spider(Rakis) is hot DILF shit.

Eramis is short! Wonder if she remembers me specifically as that guardian from Europa

Making people walk the plank into the void of space, marooning on small asteroids where who knows what you'd die from first. great melding of pirate+space.  Misraaks’ dark past wasn’t shocking, nothing that hadn’t been heavily hinted at 

The people in Victorian times ate mummies thinking it would be curative. Wonder what powers people would get from eating parts of Nezarac (edit: lmao what an easy I made before the cutscene even leaked)

Eramis vs Mithrax sword fight was great! Love that Eramis was there defending Eido. So curious about how things might have gone if Mithrax didn’t attack first

Feels nice to be the good guy again” WHEN DID YOU CHANGE DRIFTER?! you were pragmatic not moralistic, why are you not asking for any pay?! 

I wish there would be more pay off in the last week of the story instead of waiting for the last week of the season after a holiday event where you have to hope you have free time. The season just felt really anticlimactic, and I guess I wish Eramis’ message of “I can’t change I will never get over the pain of the whirlwind” wasn’t just in a radio message. Despite her threat to Eido I don’t  think she would follow through. Mithrax, yeah she’d totally hurt him. 

All of Drifter’s “funny” voicelines during the Halloween event, its like Drifter are you still the same character as the guy who killed and ate his fireteam to get off the ice planet and had people die for real in your gambit arena?

The community event of improving the eliksni quarter is cute, I don’t know if they went for the intentional parallels that Spider who is the face of organized crime in universe is “leading” the cleanup, when irl organized crime groups help the community because it gets them good pr

Love the end of season cutscene. Idk how to phrase this without uncharitable reading replies, but its good bungie made it explicitly clear it was a romantic relationship with an onscreen kiss. Like if you read the lore it’s been obvious for a while but in light of the 2021 IGN expose, and considering you have to go looking for the Immolant weblore, and when the writer was confirming it on twitter Osiris had already been replaced. Just glad Bungie doubled down about it being a gay romantic relationship and I hope everyone mad about it uninstalls. 

Overall its hard for me to say how much I would have enjoyed this season if I didn’t enjoy seeing characters who haven’t got a lot of screentime, especially since it was mostly Mcguffin chasing, with the twists of; Lucent Hive are after the relics too and Nazerac parts could wake up Osiris not really being built up before they’re revealed

[squea]

hi sometimes i like to draw my sims

[notablepirate]

This scene has been replaying in my head. All. Week. Love Avantika but oh god poor Fjord lol

[gumbydemographics]

been busy with writing our next session, no time for anything thats not scribbly

[izzyatwarp9]

RANDOM ACHIEVEMENT HUNTER GIFS  2 / ?

million dollars ,  but ...  screaming penis

[stealsyou]

               ELIZA  JOSEPHINE  IBBSON   !     character  aesthetic   ——   1  /  2

[art-lokita]

Xipil (Shee-pill) believes the only way to carry stuff is on your head and tries to convince others to do the same. though a fun day at the market beats basket-carrying-method debates any day.10/10 would shop again.

Xipil enjoys dancing and found Illian to be a great partner. 10/10 would dance with again

Illian’s hair is a lot shorter than theirs so it was a bit tricky to figure out how to do it right but it was worth it! Illian looks very cute with the horn hairstyle! 20/10 would style again

Xipil finds Illian very fun and sweet. Though they hope Illian doesn’t mind their bird familiar to much, They heard he isn’t the biggest fan of flying things. 10/10 would want him to feel safe and comfortable.

(Hi Lazy! I love your art and Ocs, keep up the great work! Glad you got back from your vacation well and rested. Your boy Illian is what finally motivated me to create my apprentice so thank you! I hope you’re having a lovely day!)

@everyone please ship your ocs with my ocs. It kills me in the best way.

[rivalsforlife]

Phoenix Wright: The Truth Reborn: Oh No We’re Doing This Again

hi.

Nearly two months ago, I wrote an essay summarizing and making very wild conclusions about the second Takarazuka Musical. I did this about two and a half years after watching the first Takarazuka musical. As such I did not have the full context for many things from the musical and was relying mostly on my memory, which blocked many things from this musical for my own safety. However, just this week, I decided to rewatch it, because I enjoy tormenting myself. I said I wouldn’t write anything on it. Here I am writing something on it.

Here’s the youtube thumbnail so that you know what you’re getting yourself into. And here, of course, is the link. This is the HD version which may be slightly more pleasant to watch. Maybe.

It was not quite as cringe in a funny way as the second musical to me, and therefore this essay may be less funny, but I feel like I’m doing a disservice to people by providing a summary of the second musical while completely neglecting the first. Quite possibly doing this is even more of a disservice. I just eagerly await the day that the third musical is translated because *that* will be the day that I finally shuffle off this mortal coil. Either way, I want to write this stuff down so that I never have to watch the musical again out of curiosity.

The following essay will contain major spoilers for both the first and second Phoenix Wright Takarazuka musicals, as I will be using many points from this musical to argue my thesis of the second musical. ... like you were going to watch them anyways. 

This one broke 8k. I’m dead inside.

Introducing The Director

Again another disclaimer that I don’t have anything against the actresses or the theatre troupe. I DO have something against Suzuki Kei, who I recently learned is the writer and director of all three of the Ace Attorney Takarazuka musicals, and is quite possibly my mortal nemesis.

This man is the one who brought this monstrosity into the world.

This man, allegedly, cleared the first four ace attorney games *seven times* before sitting down to write these musicals. He played these goddamn games seven times and did not take in a single word. The man clicked through them mindlessly while watching a badly written legal romance drama in the background and got them completely confused. I genuinely have no idea how this man could have played these games more times than even me and yet managed to get so many characters (MAYA!!!!) completely and utterly wrong. This haunts me every day, truly.

This man played Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Justice for All, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Trials and Tribulations, and Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney seven times. SEVEN TIMES EACH!! and was told to create a musical based on the series. He played these games seven times each and you know what he said?? You know what he said?? “This sucks, I’m getting rid of all of Phoenix’s backstory, butchering half the characters, and writing Phoenix/Lana fanfiction, but also rewriting all of Lana’s backstory so that she was Phoenix’s childhood friend, and you know what, I’m changing her name for good measure.”

I think this man played the games seven times each and then hated it so much and was so sick of it he tried to write something that destroyed as much of the series as possible while still being vaguely recognizable. And then somehow it became a massive hit because people like me see this and go “what the actual hell” and watch it, or people who haven’t played the games see this and go “wow what a great musical!” and then he wrote TWO MORE, destroying EVEN MORE every time in his wake, until finally, finally, he stopped after making Edgeworth straight and time traveling into the past to face off against a corrupt Gregory. I guess that was the last straw.

I have to issue a disclaimer here that for legal reasons this is a joke. I don’t actually hate this man and would not punch him in the face if I met him because that would be rude, and he is entitled to his wrong interpretation of the games. I don’t know what his thought process was. But allegedly he did play the games seven times according to the wiki. This whole essay here is satire and not slander and I don’t want to offend this guy if he somehow stumbles across my nonsense tumblr post. At the same time: Suzuki Kei blink twice if you need help.

Anyways half the reason that I’m making this essay is because I want to share my fake ao3 page for this musical. The other half will become apparent later.

Sorry if that’s illegible because of tumblr quality it’s not really important. All you really need to know is that it’s a fake ao3 screenshot for the musical. Also in the author’s note I said he played the games four times but it was actually seven I just remembered wrong because I didn’t want to believe it.

at this point you may be like “Grace shut up and get to the actual musical” and okay, fine, let’s start this nonsense. Also note that I may be referencing things from my essay on the second musical very frequently; I’m not going to force you to go read that though because the fact that you’re reading this is enough of a torment already.

The Musical Begins

Unlike the second musical, this one opens with some narration from Phoenix.

Transcript:

Phoenix: I’m reviewing a particular case at the moment. To me, this case... is one I’ll never forget.

Immediately I think this is important because it establishes that this whole musical takes place in a flashback that Phoenix is reflecting on. Why is this important? Because we know, by the time of the second musical which takes place three years later, Leona is dead.

Knowing that Leona is inherently doomed to die of her Sad Woman Disease paints this whole musical in a different light. It’s not Phoenix reflecting on how he got back together with his lover; it’s Phoenix dwelling on their past together, and the opportunities they had, before her life was so cruelly and inexplicably taken away. We don’t know if Phoenix’s reminiscing takes place before or after Leona’s death... but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was after.

Phoenix, still in the present, starts to sing. “A wave appears on the horizon like a mirage, it trembles, then vanishes. Your voice, carried upon the waves, fades upon the shore, erasing the splendor of the past.”

This line actually shows up in the second musical, sung by Lucia about her imprisoned fiance quite possibly. It’s kind of hard to tell what the meaning of these songs even are. They’re too abstract for me I think. But this line appears very frequently in the first musical when Phoenix is thinking about Leona.

Then we enter the flashback time.

Phoenix inexplicably yells at a newspaper saleswoman. This is not relevant to anything whatsoever. Then Larry barges in to the office, looking for Maya. Phoenix describes him as “A real trouble maker, but you just can’t hate the guy”, the latter part of which I think many people would disagree with. 

Well, afterwards, Maya comes in. Phoenix describes her like this while making exaggerated “can you believe this shit” gestures.

Transcript:

Phoenix: She’s as ditzy as they come. Oh, and about the outfit... Apparently she comes from a family of spirit mediums. Try not to make fun of her, okay?

Suzuki Kei personally has it out for Maya and I can never forgive him for it. Maya in these musicals is here for pure comedic relief but it’s not even comedic because I just get so angry. How can you play the trilogy seven times and think this about her?? The girl who figured out DL-6?? The girl who told Phoenix to sacrifice her life in order to find the truth?? The girl who put on a brave smile in order to try and cheer up her younger cousin even after she saw her own mother murdered right in front of her eyes?? That Maya Fey?? Ditzy as they come??????

Ugh. Moving on.

Maya and Larry run off, leaving Phoenix to watch the American Broadcast.

Important things to note here are the Godot mug, the little line up of what I think are the messed up little ace attorney figurines beneath the screen, and the fact that while this broadcast is supposedly from and to America the screen is actually not at all showing America. Like literally almost everywhere in the world except North and South America.

The broadcast says that Leona Clyde, age 24, was arrested for murdering the senator Robert Cole! Leona Clyde -- that’s Phoenix’s ex-girlfriend! He runs off to the detention center.

She is not happy to see him.

Leona: Mr. Wright... I’m not the woman you once knew.

Let’s Play A Matching Game

Sorry for the abundance of screenshots that are going to be throughout this section. Phoenix convinces Leona to let him defend her. Some of the conversation seems... familiar.

Leona: No one would defend someone who admits to killing a senator. I’m waiting for a court-appointed attorney.

Edgeworth: Every defense attorney I’ve talked to has turned me down.

Phoenix: In that case, let me defend you.

Game Phoenix: Let me defend you.

Leona: Don’t be ridiculous!

Edgeworth: Don’t be ridiculous.

Phoenix: I’ll never accept that you’re a murderer. Let me prove your innocence!

Game Phoenix: Huh? Isn’t it obvious? I’m going to prove that Miles Edgeworth is innocent.

Leona: I’ve already confessed my guilt.

Gumshoe: He confessed that he did it! In court!

Leona: It’s foolish to think you can win this case.

Edgeworth: My case is near hopeless, Wright.

Leona: (in response to phoenix offering to defend her) No you won’t! Don’t ever come here again.

Edgeworth: Look, just go away, and leave me alone!

Phoenix: You of all people should know. Once I decide to do something, I see it through to the end.

Edgeworth: Once you start on something, you always see it through, don’t you?

Leona: I never thought that you’d be representing me.

Phoenix: Ah, who could have guessed this day would come?

Edgeworth: Not me.

Phoenix: You believed in me. You saved me. And this time, I swear... I swear I’ll save you!

Game Phoenix: Edgeworth believed in me, and I believe in him. I’m the only one who knows the real Edgeworth. I’m the only one who can help him.

I could’ve done a few more, but tumblr is already threatening to murder my laptop.

So long story short, Phoenix manages to convince his lover to let him be the defense on the case. Then immediately after swearing to save Leona, he starts singing a song, which I’m not screencapping because this is enough:

“As long as there are people in this world, there’s only one path I will follow! As long as there is love in this world, there’s only one path I will believe in!”

Edgeworth sings this in the second musical after saying that he returned to California because of Phoenix. Phoenix sings it now after swearing to defend Leona. You draw your own conclusions.

And then we finally get the opening credits. Eleven minutes in.

Just Pretend This Is Narumitsu Fanfiction

Following the credits, we see a beautiful beach. Couples (exclusively heterosexual, of course,) dance and embrace in the background for some time, before revealing Phoenix and Leona, in the Even Further Past, before the LSATs or whatever the ace attorney universe’s excuse for law school exams are.

Phoenix establishes his absolute hatred of change, an important characterization moment.

Phoenix: The view here never changes, huh?

Phoenix reminisces on when they were kids. Leona’s parents were both lawyers (they’re both lawyers) and sometimes they would be like lawyers with her when she was a kid. This inspired her to also become a lawyer after their tragic death of Sickness. They never specify what the sickness is that caused two people who must be relatively young to die while Leona was in her early twenties at the latest. It may be whatever sickness claimed Leona’s life later. Sad Woman Disease. (Sad Man Disease for her father, I guess?)

Phoenix also talks about why he’s becoming a lawyer.

Phoenix: Watching you chase your dream inspired me to become a lawyer too.

So, it’s not “my childhood friend looked sad in a newspaper” because I guess that makes no sense or is too gay or something. But this is another important piece of Phoenix characterization. His entire life so far has been focused around Leona. They’ve been friends since they were kids, and then Phoenix decided to become a lawyer solely because Leona was becoming a lawyer. Not even to try and get back into contact with her after she moved away or anything; just because he’s so obsessed with her that he wants to have the same career as her, then they can run a Mom & Pop Law Firm or something, years in the future, after years of happy marriage and a few children or like whatever the hell.

Well, there’s a few steps they’ll need to get to that. At this point Phoenix still hasn’t confessed his feelings for Leona. He does so here, on this beach.

Leona tries to protest.

Leona: But I’m pushy, selfish, and only care about my goals... You’d get fed up with me.

Phoenix: That’s what I’ve always admired about you. That’s who I’ve been chasing all these years. That’s the only person... I love.

Sooo, Phoenix, your type is pushy selfish people who only care about their goals...? In the first, older lower-quality video translation it was “only care about my work”, too. Hm. Things to think about.

They sing a little duet together. Then we go back to present-day of what’s technically still a flashback. Whatever. Murder is happening.

Back To The Murder

So some plot things to establish: Leona is the legal counsel of Governor Miller, who is running for president in the AMERICAN PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION. After the flashback so that Phoenix has some time to change clothes, they show an interview of him talking about the murder.

Governor Miller: I vow to forge a peaceful country with my own two hands, and to prepare myself for whatever may lie ahead.

Reporters: Through thick and thin, he’s a friend of the people!

The Takarazuka musicals are not very good at hiding their killers.

Phoenix: Oh yeah... It’s almost time for the presidential election, isn’t it?

NEVER FORGET, WRIGHT. THIS IS AMERICA. LAND OF THE FREE! god what even was that line.

Anyways, we meet Gumshoe, who is incompetent once again. Maya runs around the crime scene, picks up the murder weapon, puts her fingerprints all over everything, moves things around, all while Phoenix is like “lol get a load of the world’s stupidest girl” or whatever. But who cares about that.

It’s time to get to the only valid part of this musical.

Edgeworth’s Gay Little Villain Solo

You may have seen this one before.

Edgeworth arrives, but not really. It’s like Phoenix heard Edgeworth was prosecuting and immediately entered a dream-like state, where Edgeworth is heralded by the sound of trumpets in Great Revival. He’s played by a different actress than in the other two musicals, since I think she retired in between the six or so months from this musical to the second. She still plays the role well, though, or as well as can be when you’re written in an ace attorney Takarazuka musical.

Shrouded in scarlet solitude... it’s Edgeworth.

Yes, those are six Edgeworths. Yes, they pick Phoenix up and carry him around and dance with him. Yes, it was probably not meant to be at all homoerotic.

He sings a song that’s called “My rule”. I only figured this out later, but it’s loosely based on a “catchphrase” of his in the Japanese version - in game 1 he says something along the lines of “All I can do is get every defendant declared guilty! So I make that my policy.” In DD in his dramatic anime introduction before the trial, he says “I intend to question the defendant with all I have. For that is a part of my creed.” “So I make that my policy” and “For that is a part of my creed”, to my understanding, are both translated from the same line, which I think is like, “sore ga watashi no ruru”, “That is my rule.” (If I’m wrong, please correct me.) In this song he sings about how he’ll reduce all criminals to ash and such, basically talks about his game 1 prosecuting strategy as “my rule”. 

It’s very fun and probably if you want to only watch one number of this musical, it can be this one. It starts about 26:10 in the video I linked.

Once the musical number is done, Phoenix and Edgeworth stare at each other, and the background fades into the courtroom, so court begins. I feel like I should note that Phoenix has not picked up any evidence or talked to any witnesses in this investigation except for Gumshoe, since Maya just moved some things around and then Phoenix had some weird fever dream about Edgeworth which presumably took up the rest of the day.

The Trial, Day 1

Edgeworth: Consider it a prelude to the poignant Greek tragedy that’s about to unfold.

Maya: The real tragedy’s your pompous attitude!

Those are the only screenshots I took of this trial day. Here’s a summary, though:

The trial starts off with Leona confessing, Phoenix says “no I think she’s innocent”, and since ace attorney doesn’t care about the defendant’s wishes he’s allowed to proceed. For some reason Leona lets him do this without complaint. 

Gumshoe is the first witness, he claims to have caught Leona red-handed at the scene of the crime, standing over the corpse. Phoenix tries to claim that since Gumshoe didn’t see Leona committing the crime, he didn’t actually catch her red-handed, to which Edgeworth responds “What do you think being caught red-handed means?” 

Once Gumshoe is dismissed, Lotta takes the stand. She has a photo of the actual moment of the crime, where Leona is holding a knife in the air in front of the victim. 

The Takarazuka musicals like to do this thing where the image is blurry and zoomed out, but then Phoenix will go “I’VE NOTICED A CONTRADICTION” and it zooms in really far as the resolution increases drastically in order to show you the contradiction that is impossible to spot for yourself, because they don’t want people figuring out the mystery in this musical based off of a video game where you have to solve the mystery yourself. Anyways Phoenix zooms in on this photo and sees that there’s blood on Leona’s hand, presumably before she stabbed the victim. How did it get there?

Edgeworth suggests the victim was stabbed multiple times. Phoenix says the autopsy report contradicts that. Edgeworth, uncharacteristically, does not update it to suit his argument. 

Phoenix concludes that this photo is not showing the moment Leona stabbed the victim, but the moment Leona removed the knife! ... Which somehow casts doubt on her having been the one to stab the victim. Because as everyone knows, anyone wanting to kill someone would never remove a knife, it’s not like they’d bleed out faster that way, or anything.

And this whole contradiction is confusing because presumably if the victim was stabbed and then the knife was removed, they’d know that happened, because then the knife would not be found stuck in the victim’s body, since the victim was only stabbed once. So this shouldn’t be news to the prosecution that someone removed the knife after stabbing. But the investigation was headed by the most incompetent version of Gumshoe ever, so. sure. I guess no one knew.

That at least manages to extend the trial another day.

This Totally Has To Be Illegal

After the trial, Phoenix goes to talk to Governor Miller, aka Mr. Totally The Real Killer. Phoenix asks him why he decided to hire Leona as his legal advisor.

Basically, it’s because her parents were both renowned lawyers. Her father was a Chief Prosecutor, and her mother was a defense attorney. ... a prosecutor and a defense attorney couple... who does that remind us of...

Phoenix points out that just because her parents were good lawyers, it doesn’t mean she’d necessarily be one. Miller says that, sure, but she is actually really talented, and her law school marks were spectacular. Phoenix says “WHY WERE YOU LOOKING AT HER LAW SCHOOL MARKS”, like it’s somehow? suspicious? for a government official hiring legal counsel to look at their law school marks?

Apparently it IS suspicious because Governor Miller freaks out and asks if this is an interrogation. Before Phoenix can press much further, he gets a phone call, and leaves Phoenix alone in a big room.

So naturally Phoenix behaves like a fully grown adult running a law firm.

If all he did was sit in the chair, lift up a desk lamp, and poke his finger on a pen, that’s one thing. But then he leans over, OPENS THE GOVERNOR’S DESK DRAWER, and finds a knife that’s just sitting there casually. It looks like a butter knife. It’s not anything major. Maybe the dude just wanted to butter his toast?

I mean I know Phoenix will dig around in stuff whenever in the games, but he has no reason to suspect Governor Miller at all, much less dig through his drawer probably full of confidential government documents to lift up a knife that he thinks is suspicious. It’s not even covered in blood or anything?

Naturally Governor Miller’s assistant comes in just then, and Phoenix puts the knife. in his breast pocket. 

bud. It may look like a butter knife, but putting knives up against your chest is not a great idea. Much less stealing a knife from a governor? 

Well, in his panic, he accidentally knocks over a bunch of books on the desk. The governor’s assistant helps him pick them up, and they find a photo. Look a little familiar?

The photo has the assistant, the victim Robert Cole, Governor Miller, and the victim’s brother who died in an incident two years ago. He’s the “Neil Marshall” of this musical, and he died in what was essentially the SL-9 incident. Same general premise, except it occurred in the courthouse, and the names are different.

AND FINALLY WE REACH THE END OF ACT 1. They do a musical number here which is a weird sort of mashup of the main opening credits song, Edgeworth’s Villain Solo, and the love duet between Phoenix and Leona. They are all such different songs that it sounds a little weird.

ACT 2, FINALLY

The act begins on a sour note with Maya playing with the knife and showing off her characterization, which is one of the most infuriating Maya characterizations you’ll sometimes see around the fandom by people who don’t like Maya.

Maya: Let me whip up my special spirit channeler hamburgers!

sigh.

But then we’re saved (?) by the arrival of EDGEWORTH, who is presumably just here to chat. He asks Phoenix if he’s defending Leona in hopes of winning her back, then says to keep out of it, since it’s a very important case and he can’t understand the gravity of it.

Then Phoenix says this.

Phoenix: Would you be saying that if you were the one on trial? The defendant is in a dark prison, reaching out for hope... Can you imagine the loneliness and sorrow of being ostracized?

CAN YOU IMAGINE IT, EDGEWORTH? CAN YOU IMAGINE IF YOU WERE ON TRIAL AND I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD DEFEND YOU AND BELIEVED IN YOUR INNOCENCE??

Edgeworth responds to this by essentially rehashing his speech in Turnabout Sisters about how he needs to find all defendants guilty because he can’t guarantee their innocence and all that. Maya gets upset and leaves so that Phoenix and Edgeworth can talk about their childhood in private.

Phoenix once again complains about how people change since nine years old.

Phoenix then says that he has something Edgeworth doesn’t: the POWER TO BELIEVE! Then Maya comes in and tries to spike Edgeworth’s coffee, so he leaves.

The Class Trial

Phoenix explains a bit about Edgeworth and his backstory to Maya. Namely, the class trial. Phoenix was accused of stealing lunch money, Edgeworth stood up for him, but instead of Larry, Leona stood up for him. I guess Suzuki Kei thought “oh the class trial, if Leona stood up for him, it would be so romantic, because she’s a woman, and he’s a man”, or something like that. 

Edgeworth wanted to become a Great Lawyer Like His Father! But then he turned cold as ice.

Phoenix: His father got too deeply involved in a case... and paid for it with his life. Edgeworth saw him murdered. He was never the same again. I bet he couldn’t forgive the criminal.

Yeah I bet he couldn’t ever forgive the person he thought killed his father all these years, Phoenix. I bet he really hates that person, Phoenix. I bet he has nightmares about that person killing his father or something, Phoenix.

Phoenix: He vanished, then returned without his mercy or compassion. He had become a monster. When he lost his father, he also lost the ability to believe in others.

So like... one of the most chilling things about this musical is that they never actually solve DL-6. This probably roughly takes place 15 years after DL-6, since they were about the same age when the class trial started, and at least Leona is 24 now. The next musical takes place three years from now, and in it, Edgeworth refers to von Karma as his mentor, implying he’s still around and doing things.

So, in addition to everything else going wrong with this musical, DL-6 still happens, but von Karma never frames Edgeworth for it fifteen years later. The statute of limitations runs out, and von Karma forever gets away with his crime. And Edgeworth has no idea.

What changes did they make to DL-6, though, you may ask? I’m desperate to know as well. In the third musical, which I’ve watched because I hate myself but am unable to fully understand because I don’t know much Japanese, there is a scene where Miles flashbacks to DL-6. It’s abstract, but he makes gun-throwing motions at Gregory, followed by a gunshot sound.

Therefore, in this musical’s internal canon, either Miles Edgeworth shot his father, or he believes he did for the rest of his life.

... moving on.

Phoenix: But he still has his humanity. It’s still there, deep down inside!

At least, if nothing else, Phoenix still believes in him. Even this Takarazuka Musical couldn’t touch that.

The Feenie Sweater

Right after this, Larry barges in, and Phoenix leaves him alone with Maya. The musical tries teasing Larry/Maya, but fortunately, Maya’s having none of it.

Maya: You’re barking up the wrong tree.

Props to this musical for not being as bad as it could have been.

After this, the two sit down on the couch, and Maya asks for more gossip on Phoenix and Leona. Larry launches into a story, which turns into a flashback that ends up being narrated by Phoenix halfway through. This one’s about Phoenix and Leona’s relationship.

This is an interesting line in here, “I’ll guide you to the future”, for it loosely referencing the sort of love ballad Phoenix sings with Lucia in the second musical which is about “I’ll take you to that radiant future”, and he later sings to the memory of Leona right around the time of his big spiral into despair.

I’m sorry if you haven’t read my other essay and just said “wait what” to what I just typed.

Leona was getting ready to move to New York to defend the weak “in the big city”. This is rather strange wording because it implies that California does not in fact have a big city. She says some things in her conversation with Phoenix that probably plant some of his later issues.

Leona: This is the first time we’ll be apart since we were kids.

Leona: We promised we’d always be together.

Leona: I’ll be waiting. Waiting for you to come to me.

Haha. Sure would be a shame... if something were to happen... and they wouldn’t be able to be together anymore...

So some dancers wearing black come in and take off their outer jackets, to symbolize the passage of time. They circle around Phoenix and Leona. In this, you can just barely see, Phoenix is wearing a pink sweater beneath his jacket.

“Oh,” I think to myself, “Is that the Feenie sweater? Are they including it here as a reference to the games?”

Then the dancers keep moving.

THAT IS NOT THE FEENIE SWEATER. That is a pink sweater with a sexily drawn woman on it.

This is the other half of the reason why I decided to go through with making this essay. 

This is so incredibly funny to me. Suzuki Kei Who Has Played The Games Seven Times has seen the hand-knit bright pink sweater with a giant red heart on it seven times. The sweater Iris, Phoenix’s girlfriend, lovingly knit for him that he wears all the time even though it is one of the tackiest, cheesiest items of clothing to ever exist. And so, when the costume designers were designing the clothes for College Phoenix Wright, they asked themselves: “Should we include the Feenie sweater?”

and “NO,” someone must have shouted, “NO, we can NOT include the Feenie sweater, it is PINK and it has a HEART on it and it’s TOO GIRLY. Phoenix Wright is a MANLY MAN. He would not EVER wear something PINK with a HEART on it.”

“BUT,” someone else said, “it’s a REFERENCE to the original games, where he DID wear a pink sweater with a heart on it! We MUST include it to pander to the fans!”

“WAIT,” a third person interjected. “I have a BRILLIANT IDEA. We can keep the pink... But to make it VERY CLEAR he is a heterosexual, masculine male... we put a sexy woman on it.”

And Person Three Got A Raise.

Thank god we’re finally halfway done this musical.

We Just Have To Go On With Our Lives Now

There’s plot or something happening. Leona breaks up with Phoenix inexplicably over the phone. Probably because of that freaking sweater. Imagine wearing that. God.

Eventually we go back to Phoenix talking to Leona, and he asks about the Jack Lyon case, which is the rip-off version of the Joe Darke case. Leona is pretty cagey about it, but Phoenix proves that she was there in the gallery that day. Leona refuses to answer, claims again that she killed the victim in her case, and leaves.

This makes Phoenix sad, so he starts singing.

Phoenix: I want to bring you back! I believe in you.

If this sounds familiar, it’s the part where I started absolutely losing my mind in the second musical because this line had never shown up before then, I’d forgotten it was in this musical, and Phoenix was screaming it alone in a red room, so I thought he was like desperately resorting to a necromancy ritual in hopes of bringing Leona back to life.

Instead, this line actually has CONTEXT, though it does just end up enforcing my theory. This is Phoenix mourning what he used to have with Leona, wanting to bring the “old her” back, because he’s devastated that people sometimes change. There are several flashbacks of their college days where he’s wearing his Sexy Woman Sweater. He does succeed in winning her back at the end of this musical. Before she dies, of course.

Phoenix in musical 2 still believes that he can bring back what he used to have with Leona... even beyond death. That’s something affirmed by this musical. I’m very grateful to it for somehow managing to enforce my nonsensical theory.

Doctor Ema

After this, Phoenix returns to his office, and meets with someone new.

That’s right! Only now, halfway through the musical, do we actually get to meet the Ema-equivalent to Leona’s Lana-equivalent. Her name is Monica Clyde. She has little rainbow heart stickers on her briefcase, which is the closest thing this musical has to acknowledging that gay people exist.

But what does this little briefcase contain, you may ask? Scientific investigation tools? No.

A full surgical toolset. Because you never know when someone’ll get sick, or when someone will need an entire operation in front of you. I guess.

So yes, Monica Clyde is not a forensic scientist in training, but a doctor! She decided to become a doctor because of her parents, who passed away of The Sickness, and so became a doctor in order to save lives like theirs.

Once more this has much darker and deeper implications than the musical is even aware of, because Monica is so anxious about treating sick people that she carries a full surgical toolset around with her at all times, scared to lose someone like she lost her parents... and then sometime in the next three years, Leona, her big sister, is going to die.

Of what? The strange Sickness that claimed her parents? A car accident? A botched spur-of-the-moment surgery? Whatever it is, Monica was unable to save her, even when she’d been training her entire life for it.

Monica is not mentioned at all throughout the second musical. It’s as if she does not exist.

Because unlike Ema of Rise From The Ashes, Monica is not at the heart of this story. She is, primarily, a plot device here to make Leona not trust Phoenix so that he can angst about their relationship. 

What a mess this world is.

The Trial, Part 2

Rather than try to prove Leona’s innocence, Phoenix wants to link the current case to not-SL-9, the Jack Lyon case. He does this by showing this picture.

Senator Cole, the victim, is in this picture. His younger brother whose name I’ve forgotten, the victim of not-SL-9, is also in this picture. They are brothers. It is apparently novel that they are in the same picture, and somehow makes their cases linked.

As well, Governor Miller is in the picture. I guess you could say like... Governor Miller’s legal counsel is the defendant, so that’s another link? Even though the Governor would presumably know a Senator, so this isn’t an unusual group. Right now Phoenix has absolutely nothing to prove that these two cases are linked other than “hey, these two victims are brothers”, but apparently it works. So they spend a lot of time talking about not-SL-9, since Leona has confessed to the murder on day 1 and there is absolutely nothing indicating that she can’t be immediately declared guilty.

They hid the fact that Monica was a hostage in this not-SL-9, meaning that some of the case records were forged. Here’s Edgeworth’s reaction when this comes out.

Edgeworth: This is an outrage! I’m the most influential prosecutor in America! There’s nothing I don’t know!

In RFTA, when Edgeworth learns he’d been using forged evidence to give a man the death penalty, he is devastated, his entire worldview is shaken, he sees himself as a monster who could end up becoming horribly corrupt if he isn’t stopped.

Musical Edgeworth goes “I DIDN’T KNOW SOMETHING???”

It’s certainly strange characterization, but I guess Edgeworth is further behind in his character arc than in RFTA, so... ugh. Fine. 

Phoenix calls Monica out as a witness to prove she was involved in the case. This causes Leona to panic, and try to dismiss Phoenix as her attorney, like Lana in RFTA, but Edgeworth interjects to call Monica in anyways. He and Phoenix have a little moment.

Edgeworth: You said to believe in others. I suppose I’ll try believing in you. Try to keep up.

Phoenix: Edgeworth!

So Monica comes to the stand to testify. We get to see this picture of Monica being held hostage, and not-Joe-Darke’s incredible eyeliner.

Lots of it is very similar to the actual RFTA, except instead of the victim being stabbed on the knight with the giant knife, he’s instead stabbed with a regular old knife. Leona still refuses to admit to what really happened, until Edgeworth convinces her to believe in Phoenix.

Edgeworth: Your attorney is a runaway train with a one-track mind. Yet he placed all of his faith in you. Believe in him. You owe him that much.

Leona testifies, and says that when she found the victim, he was stabbed with a scalpel.

Here is where things get weird.

Scalpels Can’t Kill People

So basically earlier in this trial, they talk about how Leona knew that the knife that stabbed the victim was double-edged despite being buried in his chest. The judge questions if this means Leona killed him, but Phoenix is quick to say no, she was searched when she entered the courthouse and couldn’t have concealed a knife.

Yet, Monica was able to bring in her surgical toolkit which contains several sharp knives, scalpels, scissors, etc.

This is the first major contradiction.

Leona continues to say that when she found Monica, and the scalpel stabbed in the victim, she also ran into Governor Miller, who if you haven’t been able to tell yet is the Gant-equivalent of this musical. He offered to help her with the cover-up, etc.

The next bit goes a lot like RFTA. Phoenix accuses Governor Miller, who barges in, says Phoenix has the decisive evidence in his pocket. This is the “butter knife” that Phoenix took from his office when he dug around in confidential documents and stole it for no particular reason. It has Monica’s fingerprints on it! ... And Phoenix’s and Maya’s too probably because they were handling it without gloves, but they don’t mention that part.

Leona cries about how she shouldn’t have trusted Phoenix because he was apparently now blaming Monica, Monica looks terrified, she and Leona have some good sister moments but it’s not as good as it could be if the story was actually about Leona and Monica like how RFTA was about Lana and Ema. But Phoenix has the decisive piece of evidence that can turn this around.

It is this:

Phoenix: Scalpels are made for medical incisions, not stabbings. So how did it stab the victim?

...

...

...

... What?

So like. Yes, scalpels are made for medical incisions. Medical incisions often involve cutting through flesh, very easily. As a result, they are sharp. Extremely sharp. As in: their purpose is literally to stab people, very specifically.

Yes, they’re easier to control, so that surgeons don’t regularly stab people how they’re not supposed to be stabbed, but it’s not like, impossible to stab someone in a killing way with a scalpel? Admittedly, I have never tried to kill someone using a scalpel. And I do not have experience using a scalpel for surgeries because I am not a surgeon. But I’m pretty sure, if you take a sharp scalpel, and you stab someone in the chest with it with a reasonable amount of force... they die.

Like, is this a particular kind of scalpel that is not very sharp? Is the problem that the blade doesn’t match up with the initial wound? But even then, we don’t have the original unforged autopsy report or even a picture, so how would Phoenix know what the original wound looked like to say it didn’t match up? And even then why wouldn’t Phoenix say that instead of SCALPELS CAN’T STAB PEOPLE???

This is his decisive contradiction and it makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE TO ME!!!

Well Darn I Guess Scalpels Can’t Kill People

This is such a decisive piece of evidence, that scalpels can’t kill people, coming from the man who thought “caught red-handed” does not involve being caught standing over a corpse with blood on your hands, that it causes Governor Miller to confess.

Unlike Gant, who created the murder with Neil Marshall both to ensure that there was decisive evidence to convict Joe Darke, a serial killer who had not left any decisive evidence behind, and gain control over the prosecutor’s office in order to pull similar stunts to get criminals convicted using false evidence, Governor Miller does not have that as his motive. After all, he’s not a police officer. Instead, he ended up accidentally killing not-Joe-Darke, and then set up the incident in order to get Leona on his side. As her parents were both influential lawyers and very respectable, having her and her parents’ reputation on his side could help him become President of America Where This Takes Place.

So, let’s just take a moment to run over some of the things that made the original Rise From The Ashes great, in my opinion. Just for fun.

1 - The heart of the story between the Skye sisters. Lana closing off to protect Ema, Ema wanting to get through to her sister and get back to the way things used to be. Phoenix, in this story, is more of a bystander to this plotline rather than in the heart of it himself.

2 - Edgeworth’s Character Development. Basically RFTA creates an interesting transition between Turnabout Goodbyes and JFA. It causes Edgeworth to re-evaluate everything he knows about being a prosecutor. So quickly on the heels of Turnabout Goodbyes, it crushes the last bit of hope in him. It compares him to Gant, who also hates criminals, and forces him to wonder if his hatred of crime will one day lead to him being a criminal himself. He’s already convicted one person on forged evidence; how many others could there be?

3 - The Ends Justify The Means. ... wait come back, don’t leave. What I found neat about this case was also Gant’s motive. At one point he was presumably an honest person who hated crime and wanted to stop criminals. But over time in the police force, he became corrupted. He wanted to have all criminals convicted. So what do you do when you don’t have the evidence to convict them? Joe Darke was a serial killer who has killed several people and may have killed more if he’d gone free. The only way to stop and convict him was by using forged evidence. Other criminals could hide evidence to get away with their crimes, so people like Gant would make it up to catch them; but then when do you stop? What happens if there’s no evidence because someone is truly innocent? When does the line between “this person is a criminal and I want to stop them” and “I just want to convict everyone I’m dealing with” become blurred? This is also something he shares with Edgeworth and helps to advance his character.

All three of these things are either lessened or outright ignored in this musical. Leona and Monica’s story takes a backseat to Phoenix and Leona’s Love Story, with Monica only showing up halfway through, and mainly as an excuse as to why Leona is withdrawn. Edgeworth doesn’t seem to blame himself for the forged evidence he used, and doesn’t have a crisis questioning his morality over it. And Governor Miller’s motive is purely power. Unlike Gant, who would have become Chief of Police whether he solved SL-9 or not, Miller needed Leona to win the presidency. And instead of asking her to help him with his campaign like a normal person, he just blackmailed her instead.

... How do you play the games seven times and miss this much?

The Case Finally Ends

god. we’re almost there.

The case ends, Leona is declared not guilty but will still face trial for covering up murders and such. Probably less of a sentence than Lana because she was not involved in ongoing police corruption? Either way she’s dead in three years, so she’s got something a bit more concerning coming up.

She’s led away. Phoenix sings a bit about Leona before being interrupted by Edgeworth... who has something important to tell him.

Edgeworth: You awakened within me those once-cherished emotions I had discarded. I see visions of a distant, nostalgic past.

So basically this is the unnecessary feelings of the musical. Something along the lines of “seeing you again and fighting for my former ideals is making me question many things about myself.”

How does Phoenix respond?

Phoenix: Edgeworth... Try talking normally for a chance.

Sure, we were all thinking it, but that’s a little cold, Phoenix.

Edgeworth tries a smooth recovery.

Edgeworth: I don’t do... idle chit-chat.

This doesn’t accomplish much. So he leaves to allow Leona to visit with Phoenix alone. He’s got to go change for something more important coming up.

Leona and Phoenix decide that they’re going to get back together once Leona is done her sentence! They make a promise that is very funny if you know she’ll be dead in three years.

Phoenix: I’ll be waiting. For you.

There are a lot of hugs here, I’m not screencapping them all. There are also several moments where their faces get very close together and like, their nose brushes the other’s cheek or something, but they never actually kiss. Is it because the actresses weren’t comfortable with it (valid), or they thought kissing would be too much for the musical (sure, whatever), or since both characters are played by women the show staff did not want two women kissing on stage (probably the real answer)? I don’t like watching kisses, but I kept bracing myself for one and then it never happened, so.

Phoenix ends the main part of the musical with one last musical number starring my personal favourite piece:

Phoenix: I want to bring you back! I believe in you.

I like to think that at this point, this is present-day Phoenix, after finishing his reminiscing, still desperately wishing he could bring Leona back from death.

But alas, he cannot. And so, after one last daydream of them dancing together on the beaches of California, singing about their love, the musical ends.

Dance Time!

This starts at exactly the two hour mark, if you’re interested in watching what is, once again, one of the only fun parts of this musical.

Seriously, Edgeworth’s actress kills it here, when I first saw this I went “oh, this is why I saw so many people being gay for her on twitter.”

Edgeworth’s song is an encore of “My Rule”, so it’s lots of fun. Afterwards Phoenix gets another fun piece.

Then we get to the love ballad part, which I can probably overanalyze, I feel like I haven’t done enough ridiculous over-analyzing in this essay in comparison to the other.

Uhhh so the fog represents how Phoenix feels lost in this world without Leona. You can see it in the second screenshot separating the two of them, representing the barrier of death between the two of them. Idk it’s midnight I’m getting worn out from having to think about this musical for so long.

But his mourning over Leona’s death becomes even more apparent in the credits, where Phoenix sings that one line again:

Phoenix: I want to bring you back! I believe in you.

I’m not fixing that screenshot, I think it’s oddly fitting, in a way. That’s me right now.

Then at the very end, he sings this song.

Phoenix: I’ll spend... this eternal life... soaring through... the heavens!

Technically, this refers to his name Phoenix, but let’s dig a little deeper. He spends the rest of his life soaring through the heavens... the heavens that Leona went to after her untimely death, perhaps?

Overall, the musical becomes much more interesting when you just see it as a prequel to the second musical. This musical establishes many core concepts of Phoenix’s character: his refusal to believe in the concept of things changing, for one, and also his extreme dependency on Leona who he was never separated from since they were kids and where he based his entire life around her dreams and ideals. All he can think about is her. And in the end, he promises to wait for her in California.

Yet, to paraphrase Miles Edgeworth, all that is waiting for him is her death. Their dream of opening up a Mom & Pop Law Firm will never come true.

Thanks again for bearing with me even though this wasn’t as funny!